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That’s really helped me as someone who grew up struggling with identity and sexuality. Rachel: Sophie’s literally the most open person, she’s much more open than I am and willing to talk about her feelings. I’m a very anxious person in any romantic relationship and Rachel has always been known to reassure me in a way no-one has before. More generally, I love how Rachel makes me feel safe and secure. Sophie: What I like about a lesbian relationship is that we’re both in touch with our emotions and there isn’t the same toxic masculinity. What are some of the positives about your relationship? Sophie: I’d say that I’m more dominant socially and take a more alpha female role. More generally, the relationship is very balanced. Rachel: Sophie does like having things done for her and being treated like a princess, so she likes me organising dates and taking that role, though that’s something that I like doing anyway. Compared to these stereotypes and assumptions, what is the experience of your relationship really like?
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Sophie: From the femme point of view, as someone who is pansexual, and with this being my first lesbian relationship, I get the classic questions of “is she the man?” or “what made you turn lesbian?” Everyone is so shocked that I have a girlfriend, it’s very much a case of compulsory heterosexuality. It’s a stereotype that you have to have a masculine person for any relationship to work and that’s obviously very sexist and a product of the patriarchy. Rachel: It’s presumed a lot of the time that the more masculine, boyish person would handle the finances or be more dominant and take more of an assertive role – in a way that's similar to the masculine stereotypes in society. Sophie (she/her) and Rachel (they/she) "We met on Hinge and have been a couple for a year and a half." What are some of the assumptions people make about masc/femme couples? To learn more, we called up three masc/femme couples to chat stereotypes versus reality. Well, we've got some news for you: yes, masc/femme couples exist but, no, they're not your heteronormative fantasy! You can't tell based on gender presentation alone what roles individuals might take up in a relationship or how their dynamic works because, you guessed it, everyone is different and no relationship (lesbian or otherwise) is the same. Often there is a stereotype that these relationships function in a way where the masculine partner is more dominant and the feminine partner is more nurturing and caring. In wider society, you might have come across the perception that the most "normal" or "natural" lesbian couples consist of one masc and one femme person. Sometimes two " femme" people might be in a relationship, while other times it's two butch or masc people that are together – and these relationships can be polyamorous, open, or throuples. Some individuals might identify with these terms and find them helpful while some might not, and that's okay! Relationships within the lesbian community also come in lots of different shapes and sizes. If you didn't already know, there is a spectrum of lesbian-specific identities around gender presentation and expression: more "femme" or feminine identities, more "butch" and "masc" or masculine identities and a range of experiences in-between and beyond. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.Lesbian dating advice from Rose and Rosie Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers Other steps you can take to protect your children are:
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